I kid you not!

I’ve been sitting for a while thinking whether there’s a perfect adverb that adequately describes what I’m about to share. I wonder whether it was just weird or insane! I can’t really make the conclusion on my own, you tell me what you think…

It started like the usually emergency calls that I get right before I close down my business for the day. I was too tired but sometimes, that extra buck is usually worth the effort. Since it was almost getting dark, time was really of the essence.

Fortunately for me, the job was rather simple and I was happy because I would be out of there in a couple of minutes. There was a slight problem with the garage door of this old man who seemed to be living alone. He sat in a chair a short distance from where I was working from, smoking a pipe and insisted that I shouldn’t open the door up to a certain height. It was like he did not want me to see what was inside the garage. This was actually normal, lots of guys have asked this of me and since its none of my business, I do what takes me there and leave.

I tested the garage door by lifting it only a few inches above the ground as the old grumpy guy insisted. Unfortunately, (or was it fortunate?) the door swung fully open as I was trying to shut it and what I saw was quite confusing. It was a woman kneeling on fours in what looked like a crib, breastfeeding a kid. And by ‘kid’ I don’t mean a small child, it was a baby goat!

Was this being humane? Or is it full-on insanity? And even more weird, the woman was roughly as old as the man. Is she even able to lactate? Whoa! The kid (baby goat) appeared to ‘but’ her breast with its head (I wonder if this was painful) as if trying to force the milk out!

The old guy rushed to the garage door and shut it close with a stern look on his face and I knew that I had overstayed my welcome…

I left with a lot of questions bombarding by confused brain! What do you think of this? Is it even legal or medically appropriate?

Check out some of my other blogs on the crazy things I find while performing garage door repair!

How to start a garage door repair company

As a garage door repair guy in Seattle, I see a lot of crazy stuff.   But, I have to say that my job is very rewarding.  Looking back, I am very happy that I started doing what I do.

If you are looking to start your own garage door repair business here are some simple steps to follow.  As my old friend from down under at Garage Door Repair Sydney would say “Starting your own company is a lot like dating, you can’t go too strong at the first but eventually you will find your groove if it supposed to work out”.

So here it goes, how to start your own garage door repair company:

  1. For starters, make sure there is demand in your area. Garage doors are common in suburban type living areas and not so common in downtown where everyone parks in cement parking lots.
  2. Locate a garage door supply store and manufacturer that is priced well and has quality products.
  3. Figure out your pricing for services like repairs, installations and replacements.
  4. Next, you want to create a website and start submitting your company to the local listings like Google My Business, YP and Yelp. Keep in mind these are all free listings, don’t get suckered into paying for a premium listing!
  5. Once you have a snazzy website, you want to create your social media profiles. These profiles will help you connect to your “warm market” and their friends when you are promoting specials.  Be sure to get the word out about your social profiles and request as many local people as possible to like.  Running ads are also not necessary at this point, even though Facebook will probably pester you until you do!
  6. Now that you have all the techy stuff done, you want to then start getting the word out about that you are open for business.
  7. Ask for referrals, pass out business cards, and network! All of those things are important to get business coming in!

That is basically it, how to start a garage repair company.  Don’t make it complicated and for the love of God, don’t invest in a ton of inventory until you get the money coming in.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out.  Keep in touch by following my blog.

Peace out!

The Librarian

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? Well, if I was counting, this would fall on the top 5!

On my usual garage errands, I found myself in a garage where almost all the old items there had some scribbles on them. I wondered, why are they writing their names on everything? Is it an inheritance issue where everyone writes their name on everything they want to inherit? (sounds absurd but some people actually do this).

 

The more I spent time there the closer I scrutinized the writings on any item I picked up but things did not make sense either. The scribbles on the items were not just names, there were a few more writings which looked like quotes e.g. ‘Better Late Than Never’ or hanging sentences like ‘Dear Sister’. I was creeped out a little, but it was none of my business, I worked faster so that I could leave the place as soon as I could.

As usual, my curiosity asked for more and that made things blurrier, all these names were in some sort of order that I couldn’t really understand. That’s when she came in.

Madison (not her real name for privacy) is now 19 and she loves to read. She tells me that has been a book nerd ever since she can remember. She has this unnatural gift of memory and she remembers virtually everything. So, every book she reads doesn’t need to be kept while someone else can read it. Come to think of it, if you have ever met people who love reading, they usually keep the book even if they will never read it again. But that’s not Madison her fun she says, is in recording all the titles. You would assume that she has a diary somewhere…that’s where things take a different turn; she records all her reads on ‘random stuff’.

The different garage items pieces of wood, toys, metal, broken equipment and even old shoes all have labels of titles and authors on them. Even more surprising, she says it isn’t random, she has a specific system even though everything seems chaotic. If you ask me, it’s almost like OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

On a plastic doll with big eyes (one of the eyes was out of its socket) and long hair; the title Dear Sister lies on its forehead and Francine Pascal, the author doll’s arms. “Now it makes a little more sense” I thought to myself.

On the frame of an old rusty motorcycle, there are deep inscriptions, Better late than never, and on the steering joint, Nelson DeMille the author. Somewhere on a corner, the right part of a pair of white stilettoes has the title In my shoes, the left partner lies lazily next to the other with a broken heel, the underside reads Tamara Mellon.

What a library! It tells her story in an unearthly way.

Looking for North Shore plumbing services?  Contact Plumbers North Shore Sydney today!

Food Network

I used to think that my mom was the only one obsessed with recipes that were passed down from her mom (my nana), her grandma (my great grandma) and so on…

On this particular day, I met a young lady whose love (or obsession) for cooking is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Her basement was full of recipe books stacked almost up to the ceiling. And, no they were not your regular recipe books, cook books or magazine cutouts. (that is what I do because I love cooking when I’m in the mood)

All the recipes there were drafted on pieces of heavy fabric, written in quill. And that’s not the end of it. She had actually stapled and taped pieces of raw foodstuffs to each recipe, perhaps to ensure that she used the exact ingredients? Why didn’t she use pictures instead?

There was this book left open on one of the shelves in there. It had a very thin slice of dried red meat, kale (sealed in a baggie) and cinnamon sticks, clover, a strand of rosemary and some strands which appeared to be corn silk taped at the center. There were a couple other ingredients that I couldn’t make out. It was like something you would find in a Harry Potter’s Potions class.

Each and every page was carefully put together and stitched up such that none of the pages stuck together when you shut the book. A step closer to the massive stack of the recipe books and I was engulfed in a cloud of a cacophony of orders that made my eyes watery. Mold was already growing on some of them.

Next to the stack of recipe books, there was an open squeaky cupboard filled with transparent jars. More ingredients and spices? I couldn’t tell, every jar had a tiny sticker on it, the only thing that I could clearly tell from where I stood was a jar of pickles. The rest were arranged in order of depth of color, from the lightest to the darkest. Some were as light as water while others were thicker than porridge.

Just before I left, she came to the garage to write me a quick check and that’s when she noticed that she’d left her book open on the shelf. Apparently, that’s the recipe she was working on for dinner. She stared at her recipe book for a moment, went to the cupboard, picked one of the jars, blew off the dust and it was funny how awkwardly she sneezed after that. She shook the jar a bit and the settled sediments mixed up with the rest of the jar into an emulsion and she then hummed her way to the kitchen.

Hidden talent

This is one of those days that I feel my life is interesting because of the deep secrets I uncover about people by just being in their garage.

It is weird how sometimes it feels easy to open up to a stranger than to family or a friend. Right? Being a stranger to most of the people whose garages I fix, I try not to judge and sometimes they open up.

This particular garage was stuffed with the usual junk; skis, paddle boards, more sports gear, old furniture and so on. The guy who called for my help is still in his teen years living with his parents spends a lot of time in their garage. (At least that’s what he told me).

That reminds me, I have been looking into getting my bathroom renovated and noticed the guys at Bathroom Renovations Lower North Shore Sydney know what’s up!  Check them out!

I couldn’t help but notice an unusual odor, it was rather faint but quite persistent in the warm garage air. I tried not to ask but my sense of smell got the better of me “What’s that smell?”  The teenage boy explains that his father is an occasional hunter and some of the dirty work such as skinning was done there. For me, that was enough explanation but he goes to the far end as we continue to talk and unveils a couple of art pieces from underneath a huge canvas blanket. I am not much of an art person but the pieces looked good.

For some strange reason, they were all in shades of red and they were all animal themed. I ask why he is hiding all this talent and he says his parents do not think it’s a career path he should take. I am expressionless and wonder why parents would do this, kill talent in their own garage. He further explains to me why the garage is his favorite place though cluttered and somewhat dirty he loves it because when he is there his thoughts are somehow more organized in the chaos.

He has never told anyone about his secret hobby and I wondered why but I was about to find out. When I took a closer look at the pieces, they had the same strange odor and he noticed my puzzled expression. “Oh, and I use animal blood to paint them” he said in a meek tone. He continued to explain that he uses the blood to create different shades of red because it’s the best way he thought he could capture the essence of the animals in his paintings.  All the animals in the paintings had been his father’s prey. It felt like a protest to me but the boy insisted that it wasn’t.

Here is my new friend!

There was a lot of pride in his eyes as he stared at each painting, trying to make me understand the details in each of the pieces. For a brief moment, I had even forgotten about the odor which was rather strong now that I was holding one of the paintings at hand.

Be sure to check out my post about the crazy stuffed cat lady!

Halloween On Christmas

On Christmas Eve, I was called for a last-minute fix by a guy with a rather husky voice. “It’s something quick, no more than an hour or even less” he rasped through the phone. Minutes later, I was in a garage where some loud grunge music was playing. The guy had a dead look in his eyes and a pale expressionless face. He directed me to where I was supposed to work from.

The music was making my eardrums scream and I felt as if they were about to explode. The playlist violently shifted from grunge to progressive, to Viking metal. I couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing, I felt like part of my brain was being smashed into a pulp which was now leaking drop by drop. Behind me, part of the garage was concealed behind a huge, dark cloth with black and red impressions of what appeared to be silhouettes of pirates and a warship in a cloudy background. The unnerving music was coming from that other side.

Suddenly, the guy comes from behind the murky drapery and asks whether the music was bothering me, I fiddled a little with my tools in uneasiness and before I could mutter an uncomfortable ‘it’s fine’ (after all, I’ll be out of here in the next hour) he had gone back to lower the deafening volume.

He forgot to shut the drapes behind him and I had a glimpse of something that looked like an assembly of marionettes. For a moment, I fell short of breath as I was bombarded with some terrifying questions…because the marionettes were not made of wood as you would expect.  These ones were made of bones and what looked like strands of hair. Did I see a femur? I was afraid of the answer and I stared motionless for seconds and the guy turned to see me in my frozen state.

“Come on, don’t be so alarmed” he said, “These are animal bones, I have a butcher friend who hooks me up whenever I need more” he continued, breaking into a short hysterical laugh, perhaps because he had read the fear and confusion all over my face.

I could have sworn that they were human bones because there was a tiny skull somewhere, round enough to be an infant’s. But after a second look, it seemed to look like it was an animal’s skull with the snout filed off. Ten minutes later, I was out of there, still shaky hoping that none of the bones there were human.

A shout out to my friends in Cypress TX!  If you need a general contractor in Cypress TX, then contact Cypress Contractor Pros!

Remember That One Time?

Whassup folks! Bob the garage door guy here again (my name might be Bob, or names may have been changed to protect the innocent).

I was thinking recently (because I try not to do that terribly often) about events in people’s lives that are marking points. Significant events to be sure like weddings, the birth of a child or loss of a loved one are major ones. But I was thinking more along the lines of things you will never forget because those events were engaging in a way that, for your good or detriment, left their mark?

Before I continue with this lovely story, I want to give a shout out to my buddies “downunder”, if you live in the Sydney area contact these guys for garage door repairs in North Shore Sydney .

What am I rambling on about?

Ever accidentally stumble into your parents’ bedroom at night and see something you wish you hadn’t?

Yeah, if you are cringing at that statement like I did when I typed it (two words, the first word is “doggy”), then you have an idea of the where this is going.

And for as much as you say you don’t want to know EXCATLY where I am going, you are going to keep reading this because there is a twisted thing in all of us that is fascinated by the disturbing!

See! You’re still reading! (drop the mic)

I had one of these events happen to me recently that I thought I would share with everyone. (You are all welcome in advance)

Hoarding. What comes to your mind when you think about that?

You probably think of piles and piles of magazines and newspapers to the ceiling, things purchased and stored for no reason stacking up over time, etc. That is what I used to think too. NOT anymore!

A friend of a friend who’s cousin’s sister’s grandson’s teacher’s wife contacted me recently for help with their relative who was about to have a hoarding intervention and clean-up. The garage door would not open however, which was a problem when they needed to dispose of things through it.

To be honest, I had some hesitation in taking the job, but the lady sounded desperate to help her hoarder so I agreed.

I thought when I got there that some of the cleaning would have already have been done. Wrong!

While they had moved some of the piles of stuff to make a narrow path for me to navigate to the opener, the garage was still in a state that really is hard to describe in an accurate way.

Overwhelmingly disgusting? Like clutter and panic had a big fat angry baby?

The smell was also something that the imagination fails to conjure words for. I will tell you that this particular person had a thing for buying frozen dinners when they were on sale, and when they ran out of room in the fridge or deep freeze, they decided to just start stacking them up in a corner and keep on buying them!

It took a couple of hours to take the opener apart and remove the chain from it’s jammed position, hours I spent trying not to vomit or pay attention to various creatures scampering through their personal heavenly buffet and city.

In the end I felt good about helping that person free themselves of so many potential hazards, but what I saw will be an ever after event.

I’m off now to clean my garage.

Slumber Party?

There is this garage I went to fix and I found the lady eagerly waiting for me.  She shows me the part that needs to be fixed. I must say with my kind of work I have learned to be very observant perhaps because it helps me break ice with the owner which makes my work more interesting.

Sometimes, I even get more stuff to fix. So, naturally my first few minutes are dedicated to scanning through the garage, to check out the problem. Fortunately, today, there was nothing wired, or so I thought.

As I continue working, I notice a huge mattress backed up against the wall. The lady notices and laughs, “That’s my me-time slumber mattresses.” I wondered why she had to have it there, seemed like she’d already read my mind “this is where I come to get away from the crazy. I take long and quite naps here when I can” …. “Having young kids can get crazy, without these silent breaks, I think I could go crazy, this is how I keep my sanity she finishes”.

I was amazed, and here I thought that if you were an uninvited guest, this would probably be your mattresses to crash on for not giving prior notice for your visit.

I would have never associated perfect sleep with a garage or in a garage setting. The way this lady explained as she the held the mattress, you would think she was on a nice beach in the Bahamas taking a nap by the beach.

Speaking of the Bahamas, I have a friend that owns a plumbing company that is vacationing right now…..but if you are in the Little Rock AR area and in need of a dependable plumber, contact Little Rock Plumbers today!

That is when the mattress slid off the wall to expose a shelved wall closet full of stuffed cats.

Mind you, if you are thinking about cute department store kitties, think again. They were actually deceased cats that looked like they had been kept alive by the crafty hands of a taxidermist. Their eyes were too alive, yikes!

Did her slumbers involve spending some quality time with the ‘cats’? I guess parenthood is not easy you just have to find your ways of venting even if it means having unusual slumber parties!

Here is a funny video for ya!

Chao!

You Think You Have Seen Some Strange Stuff?

So as I said in my introduction, my name is Bob (maybe), and I am a garage door repair company owner and operator in Seattle. Sounds boring, doesn’t it?

It can be sometimes but consider this. When was the last time you cleaned out your garage?

No one like to clean their garage (I say no one, I have seen garages kept OCD clean and spotless, creepy) and the things that can literally pile up depend on the person in question.

I’m sure you have normal stuff in your garage like family photos, old toys, old books, the treadmill (be honest). Do you have a hobby like crafts or some such thing? You likely have a work area or at least stock your hobby in your garage.

But I ask you this question, are there things in your garage that are, let’s say, a little weird? Things that maybe you don’t want others to see?

Welcome to my world!

motorbike-407186_640
What’s in YOUR garage?

Continue reading You Think You Have Seen Some Strange Stuff?